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Philip’s not doing himself any favors with this head-in-the-sand approach, either—his ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend is likelier to find out that she cheated on him if he learns he’s contracted an STI the next time he gets checked out.

It’s especially frustrating because she first asked about it only a month after Mom died while we were at a wedding reception, and it wound up making me cry, but she still keeps asking.

I told her it wasn’t for lack of trying, but that seems like a really inadequate response to a very weird theory and I can’t figure out how to approach it.

A: It’s sweet, if enormously misguided, that your mother is trying to be supportive of your bisexuality, but this is just nonsense and should be treated (gently! “Mom, I appreciate that you mean well, but my depression is unrelated to my sexuality and can’t be treated by getting a girlfriend.

I just really, really want to avoid listening to racist, transphobic comments!

A: Returning some comics you’ve borrowed by mail is not a universally understood sign of a friend breakup, unless you include “I’m sending these back through the post because I can’t stand the thought of seeing you in person” in your note.

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